Do you feel like you’re “behind” no matter how many achievements you’ve had?
The imaginary goals you haven’t achieved yet steal the joy from what you ARE doing and what you have achieved.
What seems like high-standards can very easily become self-bullying.
A lot of our clients feel this way.
We have also felt this way.
When you’re training hard, eating well but still struggling to feel like you’re winning — it’s easy to make the jump to recognising that your mindset might be what’s holding you back.
It’s a reasonable conclusion to make.
When Hattie won the world title, she actually didn’t enjoy it.
Her mind told her that she didn’t really win because of what she brought to the stage. Somehow it must have been a mistake or someone doing her a favor or because she was the nicest person in the show.
But her high-standards meant that she didn’t feel like she had achieved (enough). Those high standards that COULD say
Were so much more powerful from the parts that say
“You did so well”
It actually took several years for Hattie to actually internalise that success and to feel proud of it.
What was missing was self- compassion.
It was a long road to get there.
Until that point, it just felt like another hollow goal achieved — and she promptly moved onto the next goal in the hopes of feeling better about her achievements.
But this is a really common phenomenon with high achievers.
They’re constantly worried that no matter what their success is, they should have done more.
So you do yoga or meditation to try and “calm your mind”.
But your mind is far from quiet.
It’s more like an endless stream of things to do, improvements to make, goals to pursue.
So you feel like you’re failing at yoga because you were the only one who couldn’t quiet their mind during the class.
(Hint: neither could anybody else, but that’s beyond the point when you’re trying to be the best at meditation)