"You Know How It Is, All Women Are Crazy"
A women told me this on the phone.
In fact it was pretty much her opening statement.
“Oh well you know how it is, all women are crazy”
My mind screamed
“NO!”
“THAT’S BULLSHIT”
“That’s just your excuse for a poor thought process,
or to allow you to get away with your negative cycle or your negative internal dialogue” “
Worse than that it just completely validates every sexist, bullshit excuse men have for discriminating against us. (Yes, that's real)
The truth is we aren’t crazy.
We have intense feelings and emotions
and we need to develop the ability to build the personal power to say
“Is this true emotion or am I just emoting?”
“Am I just giving myself a pass to behave badly?”
Rather than examining
our thoughts
or feelings
or actions
or words.
We just say
“I’m feeling emotional”
So that we don’t have to accept responsibility
for what we do
or what we say to someone else
or what we think to ourselves.
The other way we weasel out of responsibility is to say
“I’m stressed because of _____ insert excuse”
Work, boyfriend, no-boyfriend, friends, body, family
We use stress to justify why we were mean or angry or sad or ate a whole wheel of cheese.
Stress is the "reason" we couldn't track your macros or didn't go to the gym.
It’s the version of emotional that people with careers use as an excuse for not examining their thoughtsand taking responsibility for themselves.
It’s martyrdom,
which is defined as
“a display of pretended or exaggerated suffering to obtain sympathy.”
"Oh poor me I’m so stressed"
"Oh poor me my boyfriend didn’t do what I wanted"
"Oh poor me I got fat because I didn’t train or exercise"
:Oh poor me I’m upset because I don’t have exactly what I want yet
and because of my exaggerated suffering, I deserve sympathy"
"I now have a "reason" a "reason" not to do the things I really want to."
But in truth you have built a "reason" that truly is an excuse.
This is not the route to happiness or success.
I want you to know, you're not alone worth this.
We all battle with this at different stages in our life.
I battled with this for years.
But if you want to go to the next level its a battle you must win.
What do successful people do?
What do the winners
the happy ones
the ones who shine
what do they do?
Would you believe it?
It’s the same for Men and Women.
The winners surrender martyrdom and accept responsibility.
They stop giving “reasons” why they didn’t do something
and
So stop using “feeling emotional”
or “feeling stressed”
as an excuse for not doing the things that actually want to do
You want to compete.
You want to be happy.
You want to feel confident
So find ways to train, hit your macros and meditate, no matter the obstacle.
When it get's tough don't give yourself reasons you can't
find solutions so that you can.
I sent you this quote from The Daily Stoic earlier in the week
and it has been rattling around my brain ever since.
We go through our days responding and reacting,
but it's rare to really pause and ask: Is this thing I'm about to do consistent with what I believe? Or, better: Is this the kind of thing the person I would like to be should do?
The work of living is to set standards and not compromise them.
When you're brushing your teeth, choosing your friends, losing your temper, falling in love, instructing your child or walking your dog - all of these are opportunities.
Not, I want to do good- that's an excuse.
But, I will do good in this particular instance, right now.
Set a standard; hold fast to it.
That's all there is.
Are you ready for every one of your actions to be an opportunity?
Are you ready to accept responsibility?
There are a few spots left In my high-level program.
We only accept women who are dying to set a standard and hold fast to it.
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Love and light and overwhelming passion
Hattie xoxo
PS: That quote is from The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holliday
I recommend his books to all of my girls.
You can check Ryan out HERE.
